Mario / Harry Potter Story
by jweb guru
Summary: This is just something I wrote about Bowser, Mario, and the Harry Potter Characters. It's very... um... interesting. Anyway, please read it and review it! (I can't understand people who say R
1. Harry and Mario

Mario / Harry Potter  
  
Chapter I  
  
Dun...  
  
DUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM...........  
  
Bowser: I shall defeat you, Mario!  
  
Mario: Who are you?  
  
Bowser: I'm your longtime rival!  
  
Bowser: I'm a crucial plot device!  
  
Bowser: Just like Malfoy here! See? *Rubs Malfoy's head.*  
  
Mario: What's a plot device?  
  
Bowser: You're an idiot, aren't you, Mario?  
  
Mario: I don't know, am I?  
  
Bowser: You ACTUALLY DON'T KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE AN IDIOT?  
  
Bowser: I REALLY won't waste my time on you!  
  
Mario: But you're my... uh...  
  
Mario: Longtime Rival!  
  
Mario: That's it! Do I get a prize?  
  
Bowser: At least you can repeat things.  
  
Bowser: Do you want to do a plot battle?  
  
Mario: What's a... I mean, sure!  
  
Bowser: OK, let's fight!  
  
Mario: Fight?  
  
Mario: I thought you said it was a plotfight!  
  
Bowser: No, MARIO. YOU SIMPLETON! A PLOT FIGHT! LOOK AT THE SPACE!  
  
Mario: Oh. *Ponders*. What's a space?  
  
Bowser: Just start fighting, Ok?  
  
*A huge fight insues. Everyone ignores them.*  
  
Bowser: HEY!  
  
*Bowser breathes fire at everyone who ignored him.*  
  
*And at me for spelling "ensues" wrong.*  
  
*Everyone runs for cover as the huge fight ensues.*  
  
Bowser: That's MUCH better.  
  
Mario: I can fight you! Watch!  
  
*Mario does a high kick at Bowser's nose, but accidentally snaps it back into his groin!*  
  
Mario: OOWWWW...... THAT HURT!  
  
Bowser: I could just sit here...  
  
Bowser: And let you beat yourself up!  
  
Mario: I WILL GET YOU!  
  
*Mario jumps on Bowser's head!*  
  
*Nothing happens.*  
  
Mario: I said, I WILL GET YOU!  
  
*Mario again jumps on Bowser's head; hard.*  
  
*And again, nothing happens.*  
  
Mario: What's wrong with these boots? *Mario takes the boots off and examines them with a puzzled expression, like he usually has on.*  
  
Bowser: I think it's you, Mario, not your boots...  
  
Mario: But it says in Paper Mario: "YOU HAVE THE ULTRA BOOTS!"  
  
Mario: "NOW, YOU CAN DO THREE DAMAGE WITH EACH JUMP! YOU CAN ALSO JUMP HIGHER THAN EVER!"  
  
Mario: That is what the game says.  
  
Bowser: In any game where YOU can beat ME, the game is lying.  
  
Bowser: And is not to be trusted.  
  
Bowser: Now, watch!  
  
*Bowser calls Draco Malfoy up from the large audience cheering for him.*  
  
Bowser: Now, remember...  
  
Bowser: On the count of three, lightly tap Mario on the head!  
  
Draco: Ok, sir! We smart people have to stick together! I'll let you finish Harry Potter!  
  
Mario: HARRY POTTER?  
  
Mario: YOU MEAN THAT OLD FRIEND OF MINE?  
  
Mario: He's funny!  
  
*Draco lightly taps Mario on the head.*  
  
*Mario crumples up in a heap.*  
  
Bowser: Do you want me to make him crushed in a Monster Truck?  
  
Bowser: 'Cause I can!  
  
Draco: What's my reward?  
  
Bowser: A monster truck!  
  
*Bowser give Draco a Monster Truck that he's never had the time to drive, as he's too busy breathing fire at people.*  
  
*Draco starts off in the Monster Truck.*  
  
Draco: WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Draco: THIS IS FUN!  
  
Draco: I learned how to drive by playing Video Games!  
  
Draco: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Draco: Plus, I am Special!  
  
Draco: How, do you ask?  
  
Draco: That's a good question.  
  
*The scene shifts to Harry Potter, trying to put on his socks.*  
  
Harry: Draco!  
  
Harry: I NEED YOUR HELP PUTTING ON THESE SOCKS!  
  
Draco: Oh, are you having trouble? *Draco puts the truck on maximum speed. Harry doesn't seem to notice.*  
  
Harry: YES! I NEED YOUR HELP PUTTING ON THESE SOCKS!  
  
Draco: Have you ever heard of "redundancy"?  
  
Harry: NO! I NEED YOUR HELP PUTTING ON THESE SOCKS!  
  
Harry: Why do I need socks?  
  
Harry: What purpose do socks serve?  
  
Harry: Why do I need shoes, either?  
  
Harry: What do shoes matter in a fight?  
  
Harry: And how about...  
  
*The Author makes sure that Harry doesn't get any further into this exploration of his thought, a tiny territory which has nevertheless never been explored, by diverting his attention to the huge Monster Truck that is about to run him over.*  
  
Harry: Oooh.... Pretty Colors!  
  
*The Monster Truck rolls over Harry while he finally figures out that his feet were in the wrong socks.*  
  
Draco: YEA! I've always wanted to do that!  
  
*Draco rolls over Harry again!*  
  
*And again!*  
  
*And again and again and again and again!*  
  
*WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*  
  
Bowser: Good job!  
  
Bowser: I think the Monster Truck died.  
  
Bowser: From the smell of that... uh....  
  
*Bowser points to the remains of Harry Potter.*  
  
Bowser: THING over there.  
  
Bowser: I have a spare steamroller somewhere.  
  
Bowser: But that's for Chapter II:  
  
Bowser: I TAKE OVER THE WORLD!  
  
Bowser: And share it with Voldemort.  
  
Bowser: And his supporters.  
  
Bowser: Anyway.  
  
Bowser: See you next time on the "MARIO SUCKS CHANNEL!*  
  
Bowser: Brought to you in part by:  
  
Bowser: Our sponsors!  
  
Bowser: And mostly brought to you by me.  
  
*Bowser shatters the TV set.*  
  
*Scene ends.* 


	2. Hermione

Mario / Harry Potter  
  
Chapter II  
  
Dun...  
  
DUUUUUUUUUUUUMMM DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMM...........  
  
Bowser: And now we're back with the "Mario Sucks" channel. After slight technical difficulties *unpleasantly red-smeared men hover in view for an instant* the camera is up and running again.  
  
Bowser: Anyway  
  
Bowser: Since I feel like saving Mario for last, we now have Hermione: as our latest contestant!  
  
Hermione: You look a lot like a giant turtle!  
  
Bowser: Don't be insulting, young lady!  
  
Bowser: I'll have you know that I am a Koopa!  
  
Bowser: And a handsome one, at that.  
  
Bowser: And I shall now proceed to fight you before Draco: smashes you with a steamroller!  
  
Hermione: *incredulously You're trusting DRACO: MALFOY with a STEAMROLLER?  
  
Bowser: Yep! It's fun!  
  
Hermione: *pointing at Bowser* Petrificus Totalus!  
  
*Nothing happens.*  
  
Bowser: You know what?  
  
Bowser: This is getting awfully redundant.  
  
Hermione: *pointing at Bower and a wandering Spirit* Crucio!  
  
*The Spirit Screams!*  
  
Bowser: *unimpressed* Young lady, are you aware that that curse is illegal?  
  
Hermione: *pointing at Bowser* Imperio!  
  
Bowser: You know, I wish you would be like Harry and put on your socks.  
  
Hermione: *desperately* Bobo Monopolis!  
  
*Bowser turns into Bowser the Clown.*  
  
Bowser: WHAT?  
  
Hermione: HEHEHEHE!  
  
*Bowser pulls out the Star Rod.*  
  
Hermione: Uh-oh.  
  
*Stars go around the star rod, and little dots form around it with a black background and cool sound effects.*  
  
Hermione: UH-OH.  
  
*A lightning bolt comes down to hit Hermione.*  
  
*Bowser the Clown turns back into the Real Bowser.*  
  
*Miraculously, Hermione is still alive and conscious.*  
  
*Unfortunately, she's a babbling idiot.*  
  
Bowser: DRACO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Draco: *from afar* WHAT???????  
  
Bowser: IT'S TIME TO CRUSH HERMIONE!  
  
Draco: ALL RIGHT!  
  
*Draco comes in, manuvering a large steamroller towards Hermione.*  
  
Hermione: *interested* Oooh.... Pretty Colors!  
  
*Draco runs the steamroller over Hermione.*  
  
Draco: WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! I've always wanted to do that!  
  
Narrator: Is it just me, or is this getting a little redundant?  
  
Bowser: NO! WILL YOU HELP ME GET ON MY SOCKS?  
  
*Draco rolls over Hermione again!*  
  
*And again!*  
  
*And again and again and again!*  
  
*WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!*****  
  
Draco: The steamroller is still not dead!  
  
Draco: Wow!  
  
Draco: Hermione is less toxic than Harry!  
  
*Hermione gets up.*  
  
Hermione: Ooh... Pretty Colors!  
  
Draco: I thought you were dead! *Looks at Narrator* Isn't she supposed to be dead?  
  
Narrator: It wasn't long enough.  
  
Hermione: *interested* The Narrator is supposed to be dead?  
  
Narrator: I'm a HE, you idiot!  
  
Narrator: Bowser?  
  
Narrator: Please do this.  
  
Bowser: What if I don't?  
  
Narrator: Then you won't get your favorite chicken...  
  
Bowser: *weeping* FINE, YOU KNOW MY SECRET!  
  
Bowser: OK, I'LL DO IT!  
  
*Bowser says something, and fire begins to gather in his mouth.*  
  
*Draco says something, and a pack of special TNT goes into his mouth.*  
  
*The Narrator types something, and iced tea goes into his mouth to help ignite it all.*  
  
*Bowser blows.*  
  
*Fire spurts from his mouth and engulfs Hermione.*  
  
*She goes up in ashes... like a cartoon!*  
  
*WHEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!*  
  
Bowser: And see you next time on "Mario Sucks!"  
  
Bowser: Remember, we are sponsored by...  
  
Bowser: Our sponsors.  
  
Bowser: And me.  
  
Bowser: Oh, yeah.  
  
Bowser: Well...  
  
Bowser: We still haven't gotten to taking over the world.  
  
Bowser: So we'll have to wait till next time. Bye, all you losers!  
  
*Bowser breathes fire at the camera.*  
  
*The camera breaks.*  
  
*Scene ends.*  
  
Disclaimer: Just in case anyone cares (I see you shaking your heads) nobody here is original, except me, the narrator. I don't even know why I'm doing this, except to annoy you. Oh, well. Bye! 


End file.
